What the actual f*ck? – Intuitive Tarot Oracle Card Reading
$50.00
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- Reading by The Vampyre Witch
- Find out “What the actual fuck” is going on
- Wtf do you need to know about a situation?
- Lets figure it tf out!
- Click “+Description” below for more info!
5 in stock
Description
Description
When life goes sideways, the universe shrugs in your general direction, and everything feels cursed, chaotic, or just plain unhinged…
This is the reading you book.
What the ACTUAL F⛧ck is going on?! How tf do you fix this clusterf⛤ck?
The What the Actual F*ck? Tarot Reading is a no-nonsense, no-fluff, brutally honest deep-dive into what is actually happening behind the scenes of your current situation. This reading is for those moments when you don’t need sugar-coating… you need clarity, truth, and spiritual intelligence.
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- Are you realizing you’re stuck in repeating cycles?
- Do you suspect energetic interference, manipulation, or crossed intentions somewhere in your life?
- Are you emotionally overwhelmed and can’t see clearly?
- Do you need real answers and guidance instead of some spiritual fluff that makes no sense?
- If any of this resonates with you, this is the reading for you.
🕸In this reading you will🕸
✩ explore your current challenges
✩ Realize things you need to understand better
✩ Learn the things you need to disregard
✩ and figure out what you need to do to overcome the problem at hand.
🧿What You Will Receive🧿
- You will receive a 6 card tarot reading exploring the prompt of your choosing.
- You will receive a beautifully designed .pdf file with pictures of your reading and a link to a recording that explains your reading to look at & listen to on your time and keep in your files. Your recording will be delivered as a dropbox link that you can find in your .pdf – Your dropbox link will house the file for 30 days after delivery of the file.
Please read all the tabs below to have the most informed experience possible ❣️
What is needed? How does this work?
What is needed? How does this work?
When you make your purchase, you will receive a conformation email with a download link to a file. This file gives you instructions on how to turn in your reading discovery and any customization needs you have for the reading.
📜What I need from you📜
What is a reading discovery?
When you choose a reading, you typically have something in mind you’re looking for insight on. Your reading discovery is the process of informing me of what this reading is going to be about.
Before every reading, I offer the opportunity for you lay out what’s on your mind, who’s involved in your situation, and let me know what insight you’re looking for. I need you to email me this discovery information as soon as possible after you’ve made your purchase.
- 1. Names of all who are involved – Chosen names are fine.
- 2. Date of Birth– ☽ MM/DD/YYYY ☾ – For anyone involved (it’s okay if you don’t know for other people involved)
- 3. Question/Subject – Please limit this to one question, topic, or situation but be very specific about it. The more specific you are, the clearer the message and information is that I receive. Please tell me everything you think I should know about your situation.
It is a common belief that psychic readers should be able to pull all information about your situation out of the air through the use of their cards and psychic skills… and that is true to a degree, as I’ve been doing that with people for years at this point. However, I am able to touch on the finer nuances of the meaning of the cards towards a situation if I already have an idea of what’s going on ahead of time. If you’re looking for parlor tricks and validation of my abilities, feel free to tell me nothing. If you’re looking for the most in depth experience from this reading you can get, give me some background information on what you’ve got going on in. It’s completely up to you ❣️
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🗓️ Customization & Delivery Time ⏰
Return times for readings fluctuate depending on my schedule. Readings are typically delivered between 4-7 days of purchase if all goes smoothly but can take up 10-14 days in high demand periods. Please reach out to Madame Corvidae for a delivery estimate. If you’d like to expedite your service and have yours put at the top of the list to be done making the turn around time 1-2 days, you can add a rush fee to your service by sending a $20 donation to my ko-fi
Services Disclaimer & Terms
Services Disclaimer & Terms
Disclaimer, Terms and Conditions
By placing an order with The Vampyre Witch, you acknowledge and agree that you:
- Are 18+ years of age
- Have read, understood, and agreed to the Services Agreement, Terms & Conditions, Refund Policy, and Privacy Policy
- Understand that all services are provided for entertainment purposes only and no specific results or outcomes are guaranteed
- Accept full personal and legal responsibility for any actions or decisions made before, during, or after the service
- Acknowledge that this is not professional, legal, or medical advice or services.
- Understand that orders may only be cancelled prior to the commencement of preparation or ritual work
- Agree that once preparation or ritual work has begun, the service is considered in progress and is non-refundable
- Accept that delays may occur due to practitioner health, workload, environmental conditions, or events beyond reasonable control
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